Silent All These Years

Although the fairy tale of The Six Swans has always held a certain appeal for me, it wasn't until I started reading Juliet Marillier's Daughter of the Forest that I really thought about what years of silence would mean.

Sorcha is the youngest of seven children, and the only girl. All her life her brothers have been there to protect her. When their father remarries, however, their evil stepmother casts a spell that turns Sorcha's brothers into swans. The only way to break the spell is for Sorcha to make each of her brothers a shirt of starwort. As she works to accomplish this task, she must remain silent.

"From the moment you leave this place till the moment of your brothers' final return to humankind, no word must pass your lips, no cry, no song, no whisper must you utter... You will be silent, mute as the swans themselves. Break this silence, and the curse remains forever."

As the story goes on Marillier provides sometimes subtle details of what this silence demands of Sorcha. Think about it - you can't let a single sound emanate from your vocal cords. This isn't a matter of simply going without speaking. Sick with the flu? Gag silently while you're throwing up. Find a way to keep yourself from crying out with the surprise of unexpected pain. Don't talk in your sleep. Don't grunt when you pick up something heavy.

I played around with trying to keep completely silent. Even in my imagination, I couldn't go 2 minutes without making some sort of noise. A laugh, an "mmmm" to add emphasis to a gesture - I could no more avoid making sound than I could avoid breathing. Going without using words I could do; managing to keep from using my vocal cords would be completely impossible for me. My poor brothers would be dead within minutes if I were in Sorcha's place.

I like Tori Amos' song Silent All These Years as a theme for Sorcha's years of labor. Not just the words, but the dischordant feel, and the minor notes of the sorrowful, pensive melody, fit the years of pain and sacrifice Sorcha makes for the brothers she loves so much.

Years go by
Will I still be waiting
For somebody else to understand?
Years go by
If I'm stripped of my beauty
And the orange clouds raining in my head
Years go by
Will I choke on my tears
Till finally there is nothing left?

...'Cause sometimes
I said sometimes I hear my voice
I hear my voice
I hear my voice
And it's been here
Silent all these years

Books: Daughter of the Forest, The Sevenwaters Trilogy, Juliet Marillier
Music: Silent All These Years, Tori Amos